That feeling when your life just feels like a complete mess but you know it’s fine

“I will fill myself with love and share it with the world. How others treat me is their karma, their path, and how I respond is mine” – Unknown

Lately I’ve been trying to focus on positivity and valued friendships in my life as I’ve had a problem with a girl from Uni lately and I’m pretty much done with it. She was doing something which I morally disagreed with and though I tried my best to be supportive at first, in the end I just shut myself off from it because I couldn’t offer anything useful to the situation – she wouldn’t listen to my perspective and always told me it was more complicated than I could understand but in my eyes it was just unacceptable. So among other things, she named this as a key reason for distancing herself from me, saying that I was unsupportive and judgemental about her problems. At first I felt sorry for myself here, wondering ‘am I judgemental?’, ‘am I a bad friend?’… but after chatting to my cherished friends who of course do not think I am a bad friend I quickly realised that this poisonous, toxic relationship was doing nothing for me and I did not need her as a friend. I tried to respond (of COURSE this fight occurred over text message, I cannot recall the last proper negative discussion I had with friends in person) in an amicable manner and told her that I was glad I now knew how she really felt about me!

She never replied and hasn’t spoken to me since although we have a number of group chats together. I recently found out that she stopped doing X thing that I disapproved of…. but still hasn’t realised that perhaps her friends were looking out for her all along.

It’s interesting to see how quickly friendships can fall apart when there becomes a tiny fracture in the foundation…. but it’s also lovely to consider how many strong resilient friendships that I know I will cherish for years to come. I don’t need negativity in my life, and negative friends who don’t add value are the first thing I am culling to try and move towards a more positive and happy life 🙂

 

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