That feeling when your life just feels like a complete mess but you know it’s fine

“I will fill myself with love and share it with the world. How others treat me is their karma, their path, and how I respond is mine” – Unknown

Lately I’ve been trying to focus on positivity and valued friendships in my life as I’ve had a problem with a girl from Uni lately and I’m pretty much done with it. She was doing something which I morally disagreed with and though I tried my best to be supportive at first, in the end I just shut myself off from it because I couldn’t offer anything useful to the situation – she wouldn’t listen to my perspective and always told me it was more complicated than I could understand but in my eyes it was just unacceptable. So among other things, she named this as a key reason for distancing herself from me, saying that I was unsupportive and judgemental about her problems. At first I felt sorry for myself here, wondering ‘am I judgemental?’, ‘am I a bad friend?’… but after chatting to my cherished friends who of course do not think I am a bad friend I quickly realised that this poisonous, toxic relationship was doing nothing for me and I did not need her as a friend. I tried to respond (of COURSE this fight occurred over text message, I cannot recall the last proper negative discussion I had with friends in person) in an amicable manner and told her that I was glad I now knew how she really felt about me!

She never replied and hasn’t spoken to me since although we have a number of group chats together. I recently found out that she stopped doing X thing that I disapproved of…. but still hasn’t realised that perhaps her friends were looking out for her all along.

It’s interesting to see how quickly friendships can fall apart when there becomes a tiny fracture in the foundation…. but it’s also lovely to consider how many strong resilient friendships that I know I will cherish for years to come. I don’t need negativity in my life, and negative friends who don’t add value are the first thing I am culling to try and move towards a more positive and happy life 🙂

 

New Year, same me.

“There are only two days in the year that nothing can be done. One is called Yesterday and the other is called Tomorrow. Today is the right day to Love, Believe, Do and mostly Live.” – Dalai Lama

So it seems I started this post on January 3rd and haven’t yet gotten around to completing it, but all in good time as they say. I spent two weeks in Perth after my week in Tasmania and had a busy/expensive vacay filled with a small amount of relaxing and a large amount of partying with old friends (perhaps too much so). As I’m writing this it is now March 25th and I’m sitting in my kitchen waiting for my soup to finish simmering so I can delight in its flavours (and quell my hunger). I started Cheer yesterday and hot damn my body is in a whole world of pain but I’m excited for new skills and having a jam-packed FINAL YEAR of University! Thank God, I am so ready to explore the world with my shiny new Masters of Education!

On that note, I’ve already signed up with a UK teaching recruitment agency who will hopefully be finding me a job, preferably somewhere around Manchester. On a crazy whim I booked my flight for December whilst sitting on the tram to Uni, so I’ll be heading over just before Christmas to start my next adventure and I’m equal parts excited, nervous and filled with stress about the prospect of somehow getting rid of all of the non-essential clothing, furniture and SO MANY BOOKS that I have accumulated in the past 3 years of living in Melbourne! I’m trying to cram in as much work as possible around cheer training and classes, but I’ve got a lot of assignments on my plate as well right now so I’m a very busy/poor woman…. wish me luck 😉 More to come… (always more) but I’ll post this much for now x

“I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life’s a bitch. You’ve got to go out and kick ass.”

Maya Angelou

Holiday musings

I cannot remember the books I’ve read any more than the meals I have eaten; even so, they have made me – Ralph Waldo Emerson

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I’m at my parents’ house in Tasmania (but this is a forlorn image of a road trip I took in January in southern California, sorry) and I’ve been spending a great deal of time reading, drinking coffee and watching Gilmore Girls. Mum and I waited until we saw each other for the holidays to watch the 6 hours of revival episodes and it was a bloody rollercoaster.
       Side note: I have recently realised the boring nature of my writing style, which is similar to a              descriptive recount of my life. I apologise for the mundane prose I use and perhaps it will be a            New Years resolution of mine….. Do better writing.
I cried in several scenes and since watching the fourth and final (for now) episode I have been reading Reddit fan theories about the choices made by the writers and possibilities for the future of the show. What has my life become?

Last night I drank two bottles of wine with mum and her neighbour, Dee, who gave me much life and dating advice which was ironically, outdated. Her dating tips included “when men come up to you in bars (who does that anymore) and ask them what you do you need to embellish the truth and have fun with it, but never lie” and “you need to flirt, that’s how I got my husband” and “go to sports games alone! Loads of men will come up to you and you must ensure you know a few facts about the sport so you can chat to them about it”. It was certainly an interesting night and aside from these many laughs I actually got some insightful advice from her which I always relish in these times of transition, particularly in anticipation of the New Year. We had a long discussion about the nature of text messaging and social media and I’ve decided once more, to temporarily (for as long as I see fit) depart from the vapid world that is Facebook. I feel as though staying off social media is a great way to ascertain who your true friends are, as you get to see who actually gets in contact to invite you to an event or give you a call when they miss you. I’ve also decided in the New Year to focus on having less screen time and using my free time to read more books (I’ve started a bookstagram!), get outdoors or to the gym every single day, spend time cooking delicious, healthy wholefoods (I’m trying to get into a new diet); and most importantly, to do Uni related reading and kickstart my final year of my Masters degree…. scary stuff. I think a big part of achieving all these goals in my last two months of vacation is to make a solid effort to get up early (around 8am) every day and to get into a real routine, even when I’m lacking commitments such as daytime work or classes!

“Every morning you have two choices: continue to sleep with your dreams, or get up and chase them” – Unknown

Have you got any resolutions or personal goals for the New Year? I’d love to hear them! Xx

 

Thoughts during teaching rounds

“Do one thing every day that scares you.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

This quote basically summarises every day that I have spent in Prep, doing my teaching rounds for the last 3 weeks. I have one week remaining and I am so excited to be finished with assessments, early mornings and lesson planning for the next few months!
I’ve learnt a bucket load during this placement, about teaching and where I see myself in the next few years. So far I’ve come to the following conclusions:

  1. I don’t see myself teaching Prep (Kindergarten in the US) at least when I am first graduating, it is a lot of pressure and I think I’d like to teach older kids who I can share my passions with (geography, world cultures etc).
  2. Lesson planning is hard work and is really testing my time management skills – each lesson I plan is either way too quick or is too difficult for the kids and we have to move on to another activity…. I definitely have a lot to work on there.
  3. I don’t mind the teaching hours, afternoon runs during daylight savings time are bloody lovely and I thoroughly enjoy getting up early.
  4. I’d like to teach in a less academically rigorous school with a more community-oriented vibe, preferably one with an alternative curriculum such as Steiner.
  5. I am highly passionate about morning teas.
  6. My coffee consumption is spiralling out of control and I think I need to go to rehab.

Teaching lessons to 27 five year olds (including a lesson sequence about basic robotics coding!) has been an incredibly nerve-wracking experience but I have learnt a great deal from my amazing mentor, particularly about behaviour management. I’ve also decided that I am going to have a meticulously clean classroom and I have found so many inspiring resources and books that I cannot wait to dive into during my holidays. #Educationnerd

They say that after your first big teaching placement you should definitely know if its the job for you, and even though this placement has been so exhausting and quite stressful at times, I know that I will love to have my own class someday and I am so motivated to finish my final two semesters! Thanks for reading, see you next time. X

P.S> If you’re a teacher reading this I would love to chat with you 🙂

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Me walking 3 miles in Slovakia after we got off at the wrong train stop and got very lost indeed.

 

 

Melbourne Marathon – my first 10K

Today we ran the 10K in the Melbourne Marathon and hot damn it was a tough gig. I am still hungover from Friday night and I had to make a stop to the porta-loo in the middle of the run and also walked 2/8 kilometres because I was literally dying. I smashed approximately 7 cups of orange Powerade and managed to push on, completing the race only 10-15 minutes behind my friends… But we DID it we FINISHED it and we raised more than $1300 for girls in West Africa to get an education! An achievement to be proud of for sure. Even though I didn’t achieve any Personal Bests I am so glad that I did my first 10K and I know that I can do it now so I am super motivated to keep running and to work on my times!  Hit me up if you’re a runner in Melbourne and know of any good clubs or meet-ups 🙂

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01:20 GMT

There are only nights left of my European summer and I’m sitting in my friend’s London apartment wide awake, thinking about everything that’s to come when I return to the land down under.

I’m thinking about how I need a new job to save up for my next adventure, and how my head is always three steps ahead of the present. I need to live in the now but that’s a difficult skill to develop.

I’m thinking about my acceptance into a Masters of Teaching but I’m thinking perhaps this is the wrong choice, perhaps I want something more… what is it that I want? I’m thinking that turning my back on a Journalism was a rash decision and I should have given it a chance after studying it for three years.

I’m thinking about how everything is the same but at the same time one thing is really different 😦 I’m thinking that I need to talk about this with my best friend over many cups of tea, but I can’t do that anymore….

I’m thinking, but also I’m not thinking at all – because I’m scared to.

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