That feeling when your life just feels like a complete mess but you know it’s fine

“I will fill myself with love and share it with the world. How others treat me is their karma, their path, and how I respond is mine” – Unknown

Lately I’ve been trying to focus on positivity and valued friendships in my life as I’ve had a problem with a girl from Uni lately and I’m pretty much done with it. She was doing something which I morally disagreed with and though I tried my best to be supportive at first, in the end I just shut myself off from it because I couldn’t offer anything useful to the situation – she wouldn’t listen to my perspective and always told me it was more complicated than I could understand but in my eyes it was just unacceptable. So among other things, she named this as a key reason for distancing herself from me, saying that I was unsupportive and judgemental about her problems. At first I felt sorry for myself here, wondering ‘am I judgemental?’, ‘am I a bad friend?’… but after chatting to my cherished friends who of course do not think I am a bad friend I quickly realised that this poisonous, toxic relationship was doing nothing for me and I did not need her as a friend. I tried to respond (of COURSE this fight occurred over text message, I cannot recall the last proper negative discussion I had with friends in person) in an amicable manner and told her that I was glad I now knew how she really felt about me!

She never replied and hasn’t spoken to me since although we have a number of group chats together. I recently found out that she stopped doing X thing that I disapproved of…. but still hasn’t realised that perhaps her friends were looking out for her all along.

It’s interesting to see how quickly friendships can fall apart when there becomes a tiny fracture in the foundation…. but it’s also lovely to consider how many strong resilient friendships that I know I will cherish for years to come. I don’t need negativity in my life, and negative friends who don’t add value are the first thing I am culling to try and move towards a more positive and happy life 🙂

 

Holiday musings

I cannot remember the books I’ve read any more than the meals I have eaten; even so, they have made me – Ralph Waldo Emerson

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I’m at my parents’ house in Tasmania (but this is a forlorn image of a road trip I took in January in southern California, sorry) and I’ve been spending a great deal of time reading, drinking coffee and watching Gilmore Girls. Mum and I waited until we saw each other for the holidays to watch the 6 hours of revival episodes and it was a bloody rollercoaster.
       Side note: I have recently realised the boring nature of my writing style, which is similar to a              descriptive recount of my life. I apologise for the mundane prose I use and perhaps it will be a            New Years resolution of mine….. Do better writing.
I cried in several scenes and since watching the fourth and final (for now) episode I have been reading Reddit fan theories about the choices made by the writers and possibilities for the future of the show. What has my life become?

Last night I drank two bottles of wine with mum and her neighbour, Dee, who gave me much life and dating advice which was ironically, outdated. Her dating tips included “when men come up to you in bars (who does that anymore) and ask them what you do you need to embellish the truth and have fun with it, but never lie” and “you need to flirt, that’s how I got my husband” and “go to sports games alone! Loads of men will come up to you and you must ensure you know a few facts about the sport so you can chat to them about it”. It was certainly an interesting night and aside from these many laughs I actually got some insightful advice from her which I always relish in these times of transition, particularly in anticipation of the New Year. We had a long discussion about the nature of text messaging and social media and I’ve decided once more, to temporarily (for as long as I see fit) depart from the vapid world that is Facebook. I feel as though staying off social media is a great way to ascertain who your true friends are, as you get to see who actually gets in contact to invite you to an event or give you a call when they miss you. I’ve also decided in the New Year to focus on having less screen time and using my free time to read more books (I’ve started a bookstagram!), get outdoors or to the gym every single day, spend time cooking delicious, healthy wholefoods (I’m trying to get into a new diet); and most importantly, to do Uni related reading and kickstart my final year of my Masters degree…. scary stuff. I think a big part of achieving all these goals in my last two months of vacation is to make a solid effort to get up early (around 8am) every day and to get into a real routine, even when I’m lacking commitments such as daytime work or classes!

“Every morning you have two choices: continue to sleep with your dreams, or get up and chase them” – Unknown

Have you got any resolutions or personal goals for the New Year? I’d love to hear them! Xx

 

Running for the gals

Hello! Some friends and I are going to be running in the Melbourne Marathon next weekend and I will be doing my first ever 10K (literally)! I was hoping to get a practice in before hand but I honestly have no time, what with exams and everything so it seems as though next Sunday will be my first attempt.

I’ve been running vigorously for a few weeks now, but the longest consecutive run I have done is 5 kilometres. I am super proud of myself though, staying fit is really hard with classes and a part-time job. You can follow me on Strava to see my struggles.

For the Melbourne Mara, we’ve been raising money through this awesome charity called One Girl. They send girls in West Africa to school and just $300 AUD is enough to fund one girl’s fees for an entire year. Thus far we have raised enough to send 4 girls (and there are 4 of us) which we are so pumped about. If you want to check out or donate to our page you can do so right here.

Stay tuned for a post-run update, there is a high chance that I won’t be able to walk but the next day I have my teaching rounds in a very full Prep classroom… (I have a month of placement coming up) so wish me luck! X